I Heart Adam!

From his audition for the 9th season of American Idol, I immediately liked Adam Lambert and knew he would be someone I'd watch out for in the show.

I'm soooh glad he made it to the Top 12. I'll definitely be rooting for him! My new AI star, after Blake Lewis and David Cook. Well, I don't know yet if Adam's as original as David and Blake, but he's definitely a good singer. He has a wide range of vocals. I bet he won't have any trouble no matter what the week's theme is. And he's from theater, too, just like David, so I'm sure he'll sail along if they're ever made to sing Broadway or the big band.

Of course, not to be missed is his good looks, which is always a plus when you're in a popularity contest. Besides, let's face it... the most popular artists are those with the talents and the looks (sad but true). Yeah, he does look like a cross between Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance and Kyle Patrick of The Click Five, both my favorites. But I knew he looked more like someone else, and I just realized he looks like Joe Jonas (eew? LOL). Anyway, I'm glad he didn't wear (too much) eyeliner in his last performance. The eyeliner makes him look gayish (no offense, sisters! Peace! =) ), but gosh, I hope he's not gay! Well, gay or not, I'll still support him 'cause he's really got great potential.

Go, Adam! :)

Clean Slate

I'm back at square one. I'm being given a clean slate. I knew I wanted this some time ago. Was actually in a dilemma on how I could undo everything and start over. But now that I have it and was actually given to me without much effort on my part, I'm not actually sure I want it after all. Or maybe I'm just not sure how to handle it. I have been so set on the path I was in that to change directions now is sorta taking me off balance.

I know that this is probably what's best for me. After all, everything does happen for a reason. I just probably need to recondition my mind again and modify my mini-road map (I sorta gave up long term-planning for now... seems more trouble than it's worth) and see it as a new adventure.. a new set of experiences.

Maybe what happened was just a detour, but I probably wasn't meant for that path. Surely, that detour helped me grow in a lot of ways -- not without pains -- but maybe I needed that to get to where I'm supposed to be going. And now, it's time to get back on the right track.

Too Good to be True

When something seems too good to be true, it probably is. It's kinda weird how we complain about the imperfections of someone or something, but when something seems perfect, it makes us suspicious, too.

Call me cynical but I'm never too quick to fall for niceties. People who are way too nice make me suspicious. In the same manner that I don't take compliments to heart. With me, I let compliments in to one ear and out the other. I must be really cynical, but it's really hard to tell if a compliment's sincere and true or not. It's so easy to lie about something like compliments, as we know that it's something that the other person wants to hear.

For me, what I take to heart are the criticisms -- of course, if they're valid and are given in a positive way. I think that criticisms are more sincere, since one wouldn't say them unless they were true. Plus, it takes a lot of guts to say these, as we often fear offending. So when someone criticizes me, I believe that it's true and important; otherwise, the other person wouldn't go through all the trouble of imparting that information.

That said, I always question people's motives. Paranoia? Maybe, but I don't think so. Probably just being realistic. Being too guarded? I guess so. Betrayal of trust is something that really leaves a mark in me. Once someone betrays my trust then i totally forget about that person. I put them in my invisible non-person book. Mean? Maybe, but better that than be wronged again.'

There's a verse in the Bible that says if a person fools you once, he's the fool. But if a person fools you twice then you're the fool. We always say that we should learn from our mistakes, and maybe the way we deal with people and our experiences with them (even on a one-on-one basis) is something we should include in our lessons learned.

In this particular situation, my intuition proved me right again. I received this personality reading of sorts before that said that I have a knack for determining people's motives, and I think this is quite true, as I'm usually proven right. However, stubborn as I am, I often try to ignore what my intuition tells me. I often insist that maybe I'm wrong to doubt someone... until sometimes, it becomes too late.

In this particular case, though, I'm glad that it wasn't too late when I got to affirm what my intuition told me. Thanks to some "external forces" (for lack of a better term), all my hunches were proven right. However, this is an instance when I'm not happy to be right. I really wish I was wrong, but I guess it's better to have found out about it now than later.

And so life goes on...

Brand Conscious

I was shopping for an electric fan recently to replace the air cooler I bought half a year ago.

The air cooler I bought was of the Dowell brand and was quite pricey compared to the other brands. I bought the more expensive brand, thinking that it would be of better quality. However, I ended up having to send it for repair every month. The unit would either stop working after a week of being repaired, or would work but would be too noisy (sounded like it was going to break down) once I turned it to level 2 or 3. The noise was really annoying, as I couldn't sleep with the drill-like noise.

I told the folks at the establishment where I bought the air cooler (Abenson, Market Market) that there was obviously something wrong with the unit and if they could just replace it, but they said that they could only repair. Well, I couldn't possibly bring it for repair every month. It was under repair more time than I could use it in good condition (1 week in good condition, 2-3 weeks under repair). So I finally gave up bringing it back to the store.

I asked my brother if he wanted it, and my nephews were only too happy to have it. My brother found a way to muffle the noise.

Anyway, so I was buying an electric fan (not in Abenson, which I've already sworn off), and the salesmen kept showing me a Dowell fan, when we overheard another lady shopper say something like, "Why do you keep insisiting on Dowell when it's a poor brand?"

So there. Abenson and Dowell are two stores/brands I'm crossing off my list. I've had a bad experience with Abenson before. I don't know why I even bought there again. I've heard a lot of negative comments about them, too -- even from their employees. They seem to have a reputation for being quick at selling but really slow at replacing damaged items.

Just to compare, I recently bought an AVR from Ace Hardware, and it got busted after a few days. When my brother brought it back to the store, they immediately replaced it! Why can't it be that easy with Abenson?

The next time you purchase, you might want to reconsider where and what brand you buy. =)

A Night of Laughter

I was out to dinner with some old friends/colleagues the other night, and it it was good to hang out with them again. As usual, I was the one teased the most especially because of my gullibility. But it was a good thing that the story they were telling me wasn't true.

It felt good to be laughing with them again. Thinking back, well, they haven't really changed much in the five or six years that I've known them. They still tell a lot of "green" jokes except those don't shock me as much anymore. I just listened and quietly laughed while I dug into the sumptuous sea food.

I'm glad that after three job changes we are still friends, and at least I still get a semblance of a social life. My social life used to revolve around my teammates, and now at my current job I get zilch.

We plan to do this on a monthly basis or something. Sure hope we can keep it up. It will definitely help me keep my sanity :)

Denying the Obvious

Prejudice goes both ways, and prejudice often leads to bias. This is a blog entry that's long overdue (except I didn't have a blog yet before), and I really wouldn't write about this anymore, except it was brought up in a conversation I had with a friend recently. My pet peeve actually -- if you can call it that, and I feel so strongly about it, it never fails to make my blood boil so-to-speak.

It's just that I don't get how people can be so blinded from the truth. They see what they want to see and not what actually is, no matter how apparent. They sort of have these notions in their heads that they just won't let go of.

I don't believe that first impressions last. For me, everyone starts with a clean slate -- no impressions at all... yeah, maybe I do have first impressions, but they're subject to change as I get to know the person more.

In this particular case, it seems their first impression was carved in stone and cannot be changed no matter what. I wouldn't blame them really. It took me over a year myself to see the "truth". I, too, wanted so desperately to believe what I wanted to believe. I wanted so much to believe in a person's goodness. But to play ignorant is stupid, and really, how else can I deny something so clear?

I really don't care about people's opinions. I mean, everyone's entitled to their own. It just really irks me that some people get away so easily with deception.

I hate it that some people would do everything to advance themselves even at the expense of others. Being cunning, manipulating people and psyching them up without appearing to is a real talent. However, I think that only insecure people would feel the need to do so in order to get ahead. I think that if you're confident about yourself and have the right skills plus the right attitude then you'll surely get to where you want to go without stepping on other people's toes.

A friend lent me a book titled Why Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office (I'm still reading it lol), and we had this discussion that you have to be a little "bad" in order to get to the top. Well, if being "bad" means being assertive, being bold with your ideas and taking a stand for what you think is right then sure. But if being "bad" means undermining others then I wouldn't mind staying where I'm at.

I think that a truly great person doesn't need to stoop down to malicious ways to achieve a goal. A truly great person will shine no matter how much he or she humbles himself or herself, just as a diamond will still sparkle no matter how small it is.

Err, did I say I felt strongly about this? :P

Here's to All My Friends

It was my special day. and I was just really glad and surprised to receive greeting from friends -- old, new and not so new. i even heard from long lost high school friends and online friends who became "real life" friends. I even heard from people I thought wouldn't make the effort to greet me.

Anyway, to all who remembered, much thanks! I really miss all of you, and I treasure those times we were together. Unfortunately, life stepped in and threw other priorities at us, making it hard to see each other or keep in touch all the time. I'm particularly kinda lazy in that area as I get too preoccupied with work and other things. Know, though, that you are never forgotten and that you guys are always in my heart :)

Love you all!

Lovin' Paramore

I have always been reluctant to listen to Paramore's album. I had a feeling my eardrums were gonna break if I did. Plus the lead singer's red hair in the Business of Misery music video sort of blinded me (haha), giving me the impression that they were too hard rock.

However, I got really interested in them after really digging their song Decode, from the soundtrack of the movie Twilight, so I decided to give their album a listen. I was also kinda hoping Decode would be in their album.

Well, the soundtrack hit isn't in their album, but I surprisingly love their music. They don't sound that edgy after all. They're an emo band but have an upbeat tune despite the emotional lyrics. They even sound almost pop (or too pop?) -- a bit of angst and a bit angry yet not that obviously :P Anyway, I'm totally addicted to their tunes and their album has become part of my daily must-listens.

Others I currently listen to on my ipod include the following:

• Pussycat Dolls (Doll Domination). Very pop and upbeat. Good for when I'm in a good mood :P
• Britney Spears (Circus). Very Britney. Love the mellow tunes. At least I'm hearing more good stuff about her now. Seems like she's finally getting her act together!
• David Cook (David Cook). Finally, the long wait's over! The album's good, but I think I l like the unreleased album Analog Heart better. His official debut album is kinda too pop for him. I think I still like Chris Daughtry's album better, BUT I still love David more! :)
• David Archuleta (David Archuleta). Very nice pop-R&B tunes. Very relaxing. Good for the easy-listening mood yet upbeat enough to not make you wanna fall asleep. I just wonder if Archie even feels any of the things he's singing about. I think the lyrics are a little too mature for him. Also worth checking out is his duet with Kara Dioguardi... love her!
• The Script (The Script). Pretty nice album, I guess. I like the lyrics, but I can't quite get into their music yet. Anyway, it's worth checking out!
• Katy Perry (One of the Boys). She has weird and funny (kinda shallow) lyrics, but I find her music infectious. A bit addicted to it actually.. she's got her own style, quite unique.. plus I think she's really pretty.
• Rihanna (Good Girls Gone Bad). I've never been into R&B much, but I decided to listen to Rihanna's album just because I was running out of new stuff for my ipod and because I wanted to see what the fuss was all about. Surprisingly, her album is now one of my favorites. Very upbeat tunes, yet I can really relate to some of the things she sings about.

Masking Our Realities

The world is a stage, and we are all actors acting on it. This is a realization that just hit me. How we play different roles and wear different masks as we see fit.

I'm still reeling from what I recently found out about a friend -- so opposite of how I knew this person. So which is real? I'd still like to believe that this friend has been true to me and is truly as he presented himself to me. I'd still like to put my faith in him. I'm inclined to make excuses for him -- probably something just happened to make him out of sync with his true self, but who am I to know?

In the past, there have been times when people I really trusted turned out to be different from how I knew them. However, I'm quite stubborn and unless the wrong is done directly to me then I have no problem giving that person the benefit of the doubt. In this case especially, this friend has been nothing but good to me. Was he just wearing a mask as a defense mechanism of sorts? I know I have the tendency to act tougher than I really am as a way to cope with the things going on around me.

The human psyche has always intrigued me. So many times we hide our true selves -- for fear of not being accepted? For fear of being accepted only for what is good about us? Sometimes, we ourselves can't accept who we are or can't reconcile with our past. Unfortunately, these things keep us from moving forward or from trying new and good things.

I never liked pretenses, but I guess it is an unreality that has become part our reality. I have always appreciated honesty and being true to oneself, and I hope more people think the same way and have more faith in the people around them. Well, easier said than done, I know...

Happy 10th Anniversary!

The company I work for just celebrated the 10th anniversary of its Philippine office. We had a small program where long timers (employees for 5 or more years) were recognized, and the history of the company was recounted. Of course, it wasn't without some delish food.

Although I could not totally relate to everyone's sentiments, being a new employee, it was quite touching to see how the company progressed from its very humble beginnings, and how many of its first employees are still around.

One thing I really appreciate about this company is how much they value their employees -- and it's not just all talk either. They actually do something to care for their employees' welfare. Already, they've added to our benefits this year, and they're good with doing small things to show their appreciation to their employees. They may be small things, but they're definitely better than just being taken for granted.

Although company loyalty has long died in me, I am not surprised to see why my colleagues stay loyal to this company. And if the spirit of company loyalty would ever be rekindled in me, this company would definitely be the right one to give that loyalty to.

Persistence or Insistence?

I realized that persistence can really get you what you want in the end. But when does persisting need to stop? When does persistence just become insistence?

A friend has been persisting on a goal, and it looks like he might get what he wants. I, on the other hand, have been persisting on my own goal and yet my efforts (??) seem futile.

I am quite stubborn and am hopelessly optimistic -- and with reason, too. I have had so many experiences in the past where I persisted at a goal regardless of discouragement and negative feedback from people around me, yet I end up succeeding in the end. It is this "track record" that makes me even more stubborn and persistent now no matter how absurd it's starting to seem.

I usually follow my gut feel, which is usually right. However, in this instance, I wonder if I'm being unreasonable, and maybe for once I should just let go of this goal and be more realistic instead of telling myself that if I try hard enough then it might come to fruition eventually.

I have a friend who's like as old as my dad and I admire him a lot for his wisdom, wisdom I can only wish I already have. I tend to go by the book on almost everything. For me, it's either black or white. I guess only experiences teach wisdom, and only mistakes can teach us how to do things better. Unfortunately,this comes with age, and with my "sheltred" life, it won't be easy.

That said, I wish I had the wisdom to discern when to stop aiming for something. Until then, though, I guess I'll just have to do things the way I know how -- that is, to keep trying till I succeed or till I get too tired to go on :P