Feeding the Soul

I was having an online chat with Conservative Lady sometime last week. She's a friend who works overseas, and she had some time to go online last week, so we took it as an opportunity to catch up on things.

She mentioned that although she was doing alright, she felt that there was something missing -- and no, she didn't think it was a boyfriend LOL.

I told her I was feeling the same way a few months ago -- getting bouts of depression, crying for seemingly no reason at all. At the time, I came to a realization that maybe I should start going to church more regularly. In the past, I took inexplicable sadness to mean that God was nudging me to attend to my spiritual needs, too. In the past, attending even just one mass was guaranteed to cure my bouts of loneliness.

When I started regularly going to church again recently, it immediately made me a much happier gal, and I gave that advise to Conservative Lady. She was giving so many excuses why she couldn't go to church, but I urged her to try.

Even I had so many excuses before why I couldn't go to church -- until I had to drag myself there out of desperation. Again, if there's a will, there's a way. It's only sorta hard at first -- just because it's not part of your regular routine, but soon enough, it becomes something that you regularly seek.

It's true that no matter how well we are doing physically, emotionally, and mentally, we still have to attend to our spiritual needs. Unfortunately, these needs are not filled in by material and tangible things. Each one has their own way of nourishing the soul, but whatever it is, it's an aspect of our life we can't and shouldn't neglect.

Now, I actually look forward to going to church every week. Some friends before told me I have an addictive personality, and well, now my latest addiction is going to church :)

Freelance vs. Regular Job

I was again recently confronted with the dilemma of either working freelance full time or working a regular job full time. I must admit working freelance is sorta tempting -- you get a higher net pay; and you get to work from the comfort of your home. You won't have to get up so early either, as you will no longer have to account for travel time.

However, working in an office environment has its certain appeal, too. I was talking to HappySanta the other day, and she did comment that I prefer having officemates. And that's true. While it's great to work by yourself and avoid the intrigues and issues that come with office politics, working in a team environment allows for learning, knowledge sharing, and interaction that you wouldn't get if you were confined to the comfort -- which may later turn into "discomfort" -- of your home.

So now, I guess I'll just make the most of an office environment. There's plenty of time to go solo later on.

Conversations with MissMetaphor

I guess I can consider myself a very private person. Although my life's an open book, I don't exactly volunteer information about myself. It's an open book in such a way that when asked, I won't hesitate to tell the truth or to relate things about myself. However, I never blurt out information about myself. I never like being the center of attention. I've always been happy just being in the background. I guess I never needed the limelight to recognize my value as a person.

Lately, though, I've found myself having more and more conversations with MissMetaphor -- about things that I'd never share with anyone otherwise. It started with a lot of teasing. And just to prove my point, I was forced to come out of my shell.

With the shell now broken, there's really no way I can go back in, is there? So now I find myself sharing a lot of thoughts and musings with MissMetaphor. Not a bad thing, just awkward. Maybe it's just because I'm really not used to voicing out my thoughts. My deepest thoughts and feelings have always just been between me and God.

Anyhow, these conversations with MissMetaphor have been sort of enlightening. At least I get input from another person aside from always getting my input from me, myself, and I. Having someone else to talk to helps put some things into perspective, and maybe it's just good to get them out of my system.

It still feels awkward and quite uncomfortable at times, but the walls have been broken, and now MissMetaphor has no choice but to endure the flood of stories that are sure to come her way :P

Hear No Evil

I can't understand how people can be so judgemental of others based only on what they hear about the other person. I guess this is how gossip can be destructive.

How can you judge someone based only on secondhand information? Why can't most people suspend judgement until they actually get to know the person?

It's not to say I don't like gossip -- especially of the entertainment kind. Sure, I watch Entertainment Tonight and The Insider everyday, and become quite amused with all the scandals that celebrities get themselves into. But when it comes to people I know -- whether they're friends or acquaintances, or even just people I occasionally bump into -- I try to be careful about how I take in the things that I hear about them.

As I've mentioned before, everyone starts with a blank slate with me. No matter what I hear about that person, I don't immediately believe what I hear or take the gossips as truths. For one, others' experiences with that person may not necessarily be the same experience that I'll have with that person. For another, I don't even know the complete details of the circumstances. For all I know, there may have been very good reasons for whatever actions were made. Still another flaw in this is the accuracy of the information recounted to me. Who knows how many times the information has been passed on and how much the information has been altered before it got to me? It may even be possible that it's not only secondhand information, but third or fourth.

And still, my skepticism kicks in. If the things I hear about a person are too derogatory then it's also possible for these stories to just be fabricated -- all the more reason not to pass judgment so quickly.

I don't believe that first impressions last. I don't believe in judging people. But we're only humans and we can't help forming opinions and judgment of others. In this case, I at least give myself time to get to know the person better before forming any conclusions. Sure, this has gotten me into trouble a lot of times -- instances when I should have listened to others. Still, I have no regrets about giving everyone a fair chance to prove themselves. Besides, I believe that you should do unto others what you want others do unto you.

Happiness

Peaceful thoughts

Assurances

Flashes of images

Buoyant feelings

Contentment

Positive affirmations out of nowhere

Positive energies all around.

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Side Note:

I know this poem is whacked in form, but just wanted to write something here, as it's been so long. I miss the days when I always have an idea for my blog as I wake up or as I go to bed. Now I'm just at a loss for words and ideas.

Well, I'm still blogging and writing a lot, so I guess that's enough to consume my energies. And for the curious minds out there, no, it's not a personal blog. It's not even my blog, so don't waste time looking for it :P I'm sorta "ghost blogging", but it's still fun. I just love words, and putting ideas into words, but I'll try to be more diligent with this blog again =)

Free No More

All things in life are free. So the song goes. In this day and age, though, it seems nothing is free anymore. Sure, we all get freebies from businesses wanting to promote their products...loads of freebies on the web, too.

It's ironic, though, that the one thing that's supposedly free is no longer free -- goodwill. I find it so preposterous that some people would seemingly extend a helping hand, only to be expecting something in return -- something monetary. And if they don't get it, they label you with such and such. Is this typical Filipino behavior? Or is this typical human behavior?