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As usual, my mind has been working on overdrive these past months. And somehow, my many questions and wondering still manage to enter my mind no matter how busy I am. But then, somehow, I think I got the answers to some of my questions. I sorta understand things -- and even myself -- better. It's like puzzle pieces that are finally falling into place -- with the answers coming to me from seemingly out of nowhere.
The weird thing is that these new realizations -- which are probably a part of the answer to the big question -- are not dissuading me from my belief. Rather, they strengthen my belief even more. They even support it. Now, I have no more fears inside me. Although doubts still try to confuse me, it seems my belief has grown so strong that it overshadows these doubts. I know it's kinda absurd, but I have sorta embraced this belief as my truth. I feel more comfortable with it now and more accepting of what it will bring me.
I know that the puzzle pieces will all fall into place in time. Whatever the resulting picture is, I seem to be at peace with it already. I just hope I can muster the patience to wait.
I just had a hellish week that was full of worry and distraction. I had to miss work the whole week, which meant I had used up the leaves I was supposedly planning to use for when EccentricBoy comes to visit next year. But oh well, at least I had leaves to use. The company laptop I tried to borrow came kinda too late, but anyhow, it was still good in case things didn't get resolved sooner.
But once again, I've proven that the heavens really do love me just as Miss Ruth said, and yep, they gave me exactly what I need. Well, at least that's what my hunch tells me. I didn't follow my gut feel the last time I had a strong hunch and look where it got me. Anyway, this time, the hunch is of the good kind.
I keep thinking what the purpose of this week was. I should've been more productive despite missing work. I could've worked on my other projects. I could've gotten more rest, but I was so distracted I couldn't really focus on anything. And I was also too worried to get much rest.
Anyway, the only purpose I could think about was that the "situation" gave me and my brother some time to bond, and maybe allowed me to appreciate him more. We can't be any more different than night and day, and despite the spats we had during the week (Nothing new), I realized that we could handle our differences more maturely now. Same goes for my sis-in-law, who was also there for me. As Miss Ruth said, we're just different, but she's really alright.
Anyway, I hope that this week's ordeal has ended for good and that life can go back to normal next week.
