A Few Good Men

It amazes me how people go to such lengths to save themselves. What I really wanted to say was, to save their a?$!**.

I just realized recently that even people who you've thought all along were good people -- people whom you thought were incapable of doing anything bad -- would become very calculating, cunning, and manipulative just to protect themselves from things that -- most likely -- they've brought upon themselves.

This really makes me admire people who make mistakes but who are courageous and brave enough to own up to these mistakes and still have a positive outlook on things. I think that these are the truly good people -- people whose values and character do not change even in bad times. These are people who still have a clear  and strong understanding of their values even when it means that they will be humiliated, embarrassed, or accused.

It also made me realize that the spirit is too weak to stand up for what is right and that it's so much easier to go to the other side if it means redemption -- at any cost.

This really disappoints me and it shows again how naive I am. But then again, it also adds to my ever growing cynicism and distrust of the world.

I pray that I don't become one of these people who would put their personal interests above what's right and just -- no matter how successful or rich I get and no matter how bad  the situation I get caught in is.

I believe that honesty is the best policy. I believe that if you're honest in all your ways then you wouldn't have to resort to cunning and manipulative ways to preserve your dignity. I pray that I never forget this and that I don't get influenced by the growing number of people I know who get ahead in life through such ways. I pray that, although there are really only few good men left in this world, their influence would always get the better of me.

Shield

They say the opposite of love is not hate -- that it is indifference. Yes, that may be true. But maybe there's another side to it. Sometimes indifference can serve as a defense mechanism. As they say, you'll be happier if you didn't care so much about everyone's lives and everyone's worries.

It was three or so years ago when TNB told me that I think too much and that I shouldn't be worrying too much about other people's concerns or else I'd go crazy. "Let them worry about their own lives," he said.

I've been trying to do that -- and maybe I've even overdone it. I feel that if there's something I can't control then it's best to not just care about it. Pretend that it's not there.

Detachment has also been a trick I've learned. I guess this goes hand in hand with indifference. Nothing ever lasts or stays the same, so not getting too attached makes it easier to let go and move on.

I know this is such a cynical -- maybe even pessimistic -- take on things, but we do what we can to survive. Although the human spirit is strong, it can take only so many blows, so you gotta put something in place to protect it -- an outer layer that will help reduce the intensity of these blows.

With that in mind, I don't think indifference is so bad -- definitely not necessarily the opposite of love. Maybe it can even be brought on by love for one's self. Sometimes it's really the only choice you've got.

Cocoon

I can never understand why some people are so afraid of change and of coming out of their comfort zone.

I believe I'm a conformist and that I like sticking to proven ways, yet at the same time, I'm totally open to change. I believe that change brings some excitement with it -- excitement from something unknown or mysterious. Excitement over the challenges that will need to be overcome. And of course, they will be overcome -- but the excitement lies in the creativity and resourcefulness required in doing so.

Life will be so boring if we just stick to what we already know -- to what we're comfortable with. Yes, it's nice and cozy staying inside our shells -- our cocoons -- but how can we become butterflies if we refuse to come out?

I find it really frustrating when people resist change, even when the change is clearly for the better. And for what reason? For the fear of appearing ignorant? For the fear of appearing mediocre? But then, won't ignorance and mediocrity be all the more apparent if we refuse to adapt to new ways and adjust our mindsets to be open to new ideas?

Not knowing is not ignorance. Not being the best is not mediocrity.

It's being open. It's learning. It's growth.

Refusing to explore new possibilities, well...it's just stupid.

Back...I Hope!

I don't know why I lost the zest for blogging. Not that there isn't anything to say. In fact, there are lots to be said, especially with my mind that never stops thinking and musing.

Well, mostly maybe because I've been too busy and too stressed out in the past months that I've had no energy left for jotting down the thoughts that go around in circles in my mind.

I've moved to the new home, but still not feeling settled -- maybe due to the absence of a reliable Internet connection and cable TV, which are my only diversions from the everyday routine.

I guess my home's nice but it's lost its appeal on me -- or maybe my excitement over it was just put out -- because of the builder's below-par workmanship and lack of commitment. Two months after my move, they still have pending work to deliver -- and yet, they've already gotten the complete payment. Well, lesson learned. I'll never employ the services of that builder again.

That aside, the job has been more fun and challenging recently, especially with my project approaching crunch time. It's weird how I get fired up only when the work piles up.

I've also recently joined this charismatic community, and I must say I'm really having a grand time. For once, I actually look forward to attending something that's religious in nature. I guess it's what my soul has been craving for -- some much needed spiritual nourishment. I seem to have been deprived all this time and I'm just savoring every bit of divine inspiration that I can get.

I believe I'm happier now because of my new spirituality. I sorta have a different outlook on life now, and I finally found a piece of the answer I seek -- on what the purpose of my life is. I just seem so full of positive energy now.

I also quit my freelance job of almost a year for a number of reasons. I guess it just means it's time for me to move on to other things. After all, growth won't happen if we just stay in one place.

With all the changes in the past months, I'm quite surprised that Infinite remains perhaps the only constant in my life. What that means, I don't know, but it brings me  a positive vibe so I guess it's good.

I hope I can get back to blogging again. I know and feel that a lot of good things will come to me this year so it would be great to have every win, surprise, and joy digitally imprinted for all time.