Just for Kids?

Christmas has come and gone, and I barely felt it. I miss Christmases past when I could feel the holiday spirit even months before-- when Christmas was something I looked forward to all year.

Now, it seems like just another holiday. Another holiday you had to get through. And yeah, I know that it's a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, a time of gift giving and goodwill, but all these are just knowledge -- things that are inculcated in my mind.

I miss the joy and excitement that Christmas brings -- or supposedly brings. I miss the goosebumps I get at hearing Christmas songs and seeing Christmas decors. Now, even gifts have lost their appeal.

They always say that Christmas is just for kids. I refused to believe this for the longest time. I believed that Christmas was universal and was meant for all. Why should adults be excluded? That didn't seem fair. But now I guess I must concede. Christmas is indeed for children.

Is it because of the cynicism that develops in us as we grow old? Is it because we're too busy thinking about how to fulfill our daily obligations that we fail to stop and appreciate the simplicity and beauty of the holiday season? We're too busy rushing through our Christmas shopping, ensuring that we stay within our budget. We're too busy planning and preparing for our Christmas dinner whereas as children, we just waited for midnight to come while our moms stressed herself out over the preparations. Now I appreciate everything my mom did during the holidays even more.

The point is, have we become too busy with life that we fail to appreciate or realize the meaning of the things we do? It frustrates me that we can't find meaning in things without the material. Christmas won't feel much like Christmas without the grand meals, the gifts, and the decors. Is it ever possible to feel the spirit of Christmas without any of these things? I guess not.

I wish i can go back to the innocence of my childhood when simple and little things were enough to make me happy. Now I seek something more than the physical and the material. I still can't figure out exactly what it is, but whatever it is, I hope I find it and that it comes to me not just on Christmas day.