Friendship Revised

I have recently realized that friendship has developed a new and deeper meaning for me.

"Friend" was a word I took for granted in the past. I had no trouble calling people my friends.
However, I've realized that there's more to friendship than just joking around with each other, laughing together, or being "nice" to one another. For me, these have all become superficiality that in no way indicates true friendship.

I have always been cynical towards niceties -- and even more so now. I have always frowned upon being patronized and neither do I see value in patronizing others. For me, true friendship means honesty, trust, and truly having each other's back -- not necessarily consenting to misdeeds, but being there to reprimand so that the misdeeds can be corrected.

I am a great proponent of tough love. I think the world needs more of this as I find this to be more genuine and sincere. Anyone can give you a smile, anyone can be "nice" to you, but not many can tell you honestly and truthfully what you need to know even if it's not what you want to know. Not many can stand by you and believe in you enough to see you through the difficult times. Not many can truly want what's best for you and be happy for your successes.

As Mystical Experience said, we go through several "filtering processes" in our lives where we are given the chance to sort and filter out the people in our lives.

I used to not understand people who claim to have a small circle of friends. I thought this too be too limiting  -- even a bit discriminatory. Why not welcome everyone into your circle of friends? Isn't that the right thing to do? But after this changed perception of friendship, I realized that I could count my friends with the fingers of one hand.

I am thankful, though, for having genuine people in my life -- no matter how few they are -- and for having been given the chance to filter out those whom I don't need. This may sound harsh, but then again, that's tough love... and this time, I am directing that love towards myself.

The Lesson

All these past months -- actually, this past year even -- they've been telling me that I need to learn a lesson -- to be confident, to believe in myself, and to be unmindful of what others think.


I didn't understand this at all. Everyone who knows me would say that I don't lack confidence at all -- they would even laugh at the thought. Although I'm awfully shy (and no, no one believes that either), I'd like to think of myself as confident enough and that I believe in myself enough to have gotten to where I'm currently at.


Yet a year later, they still have the same messages for me. And only very recently did I understand what they meant. I think I know now what the lesson I have to learn  is. It was such an enlightening experience -- like a light bulb going off in my head -- a major "Aha" moment. All of a sudden, the messages made complete sense.


It's true that we are being guided, that we are being sent messages (in whatever form) to lead us in the right direction. We only have to know how to listen and to understand the messages we receive and to not interpret them too literally.


With this new found insight and understanding, I go with confidence as I start a new journey in my life.

Bye Pink

I was finallly leaving after three fustrating years and I sorta felt empty for not feeling any tug of sadness upon my departure. I felt that I didn't have any attachments there and I was only too happy and excited to finally be leaving and starting anew.

I said goodbye to Mr. Guru and just as comfortable as my first conversation with him was some three years ago, saying goodblye was just as comfortable, with the easy chatter and banter between old friends. 

When he said "Bye pink" I was immediately brought to tears and I realized that I have had some attachments after all. Meeting someone like him is a rarity and then I thought, no one will ever call me pink again :(

It was followed by some more hreart-wrenching goodbyes and I realized that I have made more friends than I thought after all. Although I'm leaving with some severed ties, the bridges I've built far outweigh them, and these I'll lways take with me.