Why?

I'm the type who's more interested in the whys and hows rather than the whats. I have a fascination for going to psychics, but I'm not as much interested in the outcome as I am in how the outcome will be reached or why things will end up a certain way.

The first time I talked to Levy, he nicely  and correctly said the following about me (verbatim):

You're focused on the living that happens in life, not the last page of the book.

People delude themselves all the time, looking for the happy ending, only to find that you have to live the book in order to find a happy last page.
 
And this is true. I have always been more interested in the journey than the destination, that's why I find myself seeking more challenges and new goals as I overcome a challenge or reach a goal. The excitement over reaching a goal soon dies out, so I need to keep finding new goals to keep the previous goal meaningful even after the euphoria I feel over it fades.
 
In everything I do and in any situation I'm caught in, I don't really need to know what's in it for me so much as why it's happening to me; and how I can make the most of it if it's a good thing, or how I can overcome it if it's a not-so-good thing.
 
I'm currently in such a place. However, in this current ordeal, I don't even have a destination so the journey is undefined. I feel stuck, with nowhere to go. As Infinite pointed out, to move forward is impossible and to move backward is undesirable. So it seems there's nowhere to go.
 
I'm currently at a standstill -- waiting, though I don't even know what I'm waiting for. For some wisdom perhaps? For a light bulb to go off in my head that would tell me how to get myself unstuck? For destiny to take its course and just take it from here?
 
Then again, I ask why? I believe that there's a reason for everything. Even the smallest thing that happens to us happens for a reason. So there must be a reason why I'm trapped in these four walls with nowhere to go.
Will I suddenly grow wings so that I could soar above these walls and get out of this trap?
 
All I have are questions for now. Sometimes it's easier not to deal with the questions when you don't have the answers. Well, if only I can tell my brain to stop thinking.

Inception

As Leonardo DiCaprio's character says in the movie, an idea is the most resilient bacteria or virus. Once implanted into one's mind, it seems to have a life of its own and can grow either in a constructive or destructive way.

I just saw this at work recently -- how an idea that's implanted into one's mind can give birth to other ideas that may not even be true. Ideas have been implanted in my mind, too, and for sure, they left me feeling disturbed for some time.

I'm just really thankful that I'm surrounded by good people who still believe in honesty and openness. And although it was kinda shocking to learn about these implanted ideas, I'm just glad that we were able to kill them before they could contaminate others.

On second thought, however, maybe the virus has already spread too much to be contained. In that case, I'll just keep myself immunized and watch while the virus does a reversal.

Puppets

Everyone loves puppets -- or I guess everyone does -- both the young and old alike. And why not? Puppets are cute, plus they do whatever you want them to do. With puppets, you become their story-teller. Yo feel somewhat godlike as you control every move that the puppet makes.

Kids are especially fond of these toys, and sometimes they never outgrow them. It even translates to real life where some people greatly favor people who willingly become their puppets. I guess people never stop to like playing -- especially playing gods. Some people just love to bask in power and the knowledge that they can make people follow their whims.

And then there are the puppets. Unlike the puppet masters, puppets feel weak and unsure of themselves. They find it safer and easier to just follow their master around -- even to the point of turning a blind eye at the wrong that they see. All for the sake of pleasing their masters...or maybe for the fear of displeasing?

I was telling a friend one time that there are three ways that come to mind by which people try to reach their goals. One is the self-assured and assertive type who know themselves, know what they've got, and use these to get to where they want to go. Then there are those who have what it takes and yet do not have enough faith and belief in themselves. They simply wait to be recognized and wait for others to push them ahead.

And then there are the puppets. Puppets may or may not have what what it takes, but in order to ensure that they get to where they want to go fast , they cling to their masters who will surely take them along for the ride. They are willing to be at their masters' beck and call to ensure that they continue to stay on their masters' good side. And why not? It's a win-win situation for both.

So sure, puppets will get to their destination more surely and maybe even more quickly than either their active or passive human counterparts. But I wonder...at the end of the day, will they have something to be proud of?