Daydreaming

I was elated to learn earlier this week that my condo unit was ready for turnover. I accepted it a couple of days ago and was instantly overwhelmed by all the work that it entailed -- the renovation, furniture shopping, decorating, packing, moving, utility transfers, and the list goes on...all while I'm trying to juggle work and the semblance of a social life.

I met with the builder today and the plans for the design/layout are already in place. Now I just hope I can make it happen.

I'm just so happy to have reached another milestone in my life. Somehow I knew about all of this from since I was a kid. I knew everything would turn out alright. Now they're turning into reality one by one. As I daydreamed of this years ago, images again popped into my head as I looked out the window of my bedroom-to-be. However, this time  I have only a few more months to daydream before I finally get the real thing.

No more dealing with nasty landlords or landladies or making do with apartments and rents. Dreams do come true, and I'm proud to have made this dream come true. Not that I didn't want or need help, but I knew it would be more fulfilling in the end if I could do it all on my own -- just because I would know I gave it my all and wasn't slack about it.

As this lap of my race almost completes, it's time to think of new goals to reach, and new things to daydream about...

Puzzle Pieces

As usual, my mind has been working on overdrive these past months. And somehow, my many questions and wondering still manage to enter my mind no matter how busy I am. But then, somehow, I think I got the answers to some of my questions. I sorta understand things -- and even myself -- better. It's like puzzle pieces that are finally falling into place  -- with the answers coming to me from seemingly out of nowhere.

The weird thing is that these new realizations -- which are probably a part of the answer to the big question -- are not dissuading me from my belief. Rather, they strengthen my belief even more. They even support it. Now, I have no more fears inside me. Although doubts still try to confuse me, it seems my belief has grown so strong that it overshadows these doubts. I know it's kinda absurd, but I have sorta embraced this belief as my truth. I feel more comfortable with it now and more accepting of what it will bring me.

I know that the puzzle pieces will all fall into place in time. Whatever the resulting picture is, I seem to be at peace with it already. I just hope I can muster the patience to wait.

What a Week!

I just had a hellish week that was full of worry and distraction. I had to miss work the whole week, which meant I had used up the leaves I was supposedly planning to use for when EccentricBoy comes to visit next year. But oh well, at least I had leaves to use. The company laptop I tried to borrow came kinda too late, but anyhow, it was still good in case things didn't get resolved sooner.

But once again, I've proven that the heavens really do love me just as Miss Ruth said, and yep, they gave me exactly what I need. Well, at least that's what my hunch tells me. I didn't follow my gut feel the last time I had a strong hunch and look where it got me. Anyway, this time, the hunch is of the good kind.

I keep thinking what the purpose of this week was. I should've been more productive despite missing work. I could've worked on my other projects. I could've gotten more rest, but I was so distracted I couldn't really focus on anything. And I was also too worried to get much rest.

Anyway, the only purpose I could think about  was that the "situation" gave me and my brother some time to bond, and maybe allowed me to appreciate him more. We can't be any more different than night and day, and despite the spats we had during the week (Nothing new), I realized that we could handle our differences more maturely now. Same goes for my sis-in-law, who was also there for me. As Miss Ruth said, we're just  different, but she's really alright.

Anyway, I hope that this week's ordeal has ended for good and that life can go back to normal next week.

Satisfied

Love this song...thanks to the Fox!

Highlights

I'm finally taking some time to write sometthing on my blog, which has been very much neglected these past months. There were so many things that I wanted to write about, but I could never find the time.

The past several weeks have been pretty much a whirlwind --  another rollercoaster ride (yeah, I'm getting quite fond of using rollercoasters as metaphors), one that is fast, scary, and exhilirating at the same time. I've learned and am learning so many things. For once, a string of positive things have been coming my way.

Here's my attempt at giving you a rundown of these things, that - if i had more time -- would've merited their own blog posts.

Shamanic Sitting

I think it all started with this. I went for a shamanic sitting online over a month or so ago. Again, I did it mostly for curiosity. I've never heard about such before my friend (the shaman) told me about it. A shamanic sitting is really for healing the soul. The shaman went into a trance while playing the drums. I, on the other hand, listened to the drums while meditating.I originally thought the drums might sound creepy (thinking of tribal drum playing from Lord of the Flies or some movie like that), but it was actually very calming.

After the shaman came back from the trance, she told me about the "movie of my life" that she watched. She told me how she retrieved parts of my soul that I've lost and how my spirit was cleansed and reborn. She also said my power animal was a big silver she-wolf.

I honestly didn't think anything would come out of this. I did it just for the experience, and it was a good and interesting one.

Well, fast  forward to some weeks later, and I realized how much better, lighter, and happier I felt. I seem to be more positive about things, much more enthusiastic about what I have, and much more confident of myself. So I guess  my spirit is indeed getting healed in one way or another.

Own Venture

I'm trying my hand at my own business -- not your typical or conventional type of business, but a business nonetheless. This has kept me quite busy and very excited. It finally lets me see the other side of things, and this is like something I can count on in the long-term. I'm not even in a hurry for it to take off. I'm just glad that I've already sown the seeds.

Soul Mates

I really feel so lucky to have met Mickey Mouse. He's been teaching me and mentoring me on the new venture a lot, and why he does it for free still boggles me. Everything, is, of course, very much appreciated :)

Mystic Lady said that he and I knew each other from a past life (1900s in Europe...how interesting!). Well, I didn't find that too surprising. It just made me realize and understand why I felt comfortable with Mickey Mouse from day 1 and why it felt like I've already known him for some time. By the way, before any of you go off thinking other things, Mickey Mouse and I have a working relationship. By definition, a soul mate is someone you've known in a past life and doesn't necessarily have a romantic connotation.

When I told Mickey Mouse about this, he alo seemed in agreement. He said that it must be the reason he's trusted me since the start. Mickey Mouse and I also share a lot in common and we can seem to talk for hours, so I guess there's some truth to the soul mate thing. Well, it's just nice to have met a soul mate in this lifetime -- a real treat for my curious mind :)

STC Event 3

We recently held the third event (2nd for this year and 3rd all in all). I consider this a major accomplishment since a year ago, we were nothing. A year ago, I have given up and lost all interest. Now, I'm just so happy that we seem to be steadily moving forward -- small, baby steps, but sure ones. I also am very happy, grateful, and excited to be working with people who share my passion and enthusiasm for ourr cause. It's a delightful surprise how willing they are to share in the work and how excellently they do their parts. Things can only get better...as long as the negative spirits stay away :P

Going with the Flow

Going with the flow never felt so good. I finally learned how to do it and how to be comfortable with it. I'm loving myself so much that I can't care less how the things that I can't control turn out. It still baffles me how I hold steadfast to my beliefs and how they still feel right -- even more so now than before -- but I'm now less attached to them.

I'm really excited to see what the future holds. It seems my perspective on things have made a 360 turn. I can just feel the positive energies in my veins -- almost literally! I know my cynical self is still lurking somewhere, but for now that self is taking a backseat. Now, I just feel assured that the future will be better than great :)

Lost for Words

At first there was relief
Now there's only sadness
I didn't have time for grief
I didn't think it'd be a mess.


By now it should have faded
Now there should be no more
It should have left me jaded
But still remains at the core.


Running from my shadow,
Running from my dreams
To the next plains I must go
These illusions I must leave.

Fast Forward

I haven't written in this blog for so long just because I don't know how to talk about it. It seems so many things, changes have happened in the past several weeks. I feel like I'm in a whirl. The things that I've foreseen happening a year from now or even some years from now suddenly happened, and mostly on whims.

I'm just glad some of these changes aren't as devastating as I anticipated them to be. I find it difficult to describe how it feels, that's why I couldn't write about it. But I'm holding up very well, plus all these other changes make me feel like I'm in a rollercoaster -- both scary yet exciting.

I still obviously still struggle with what words to use, but as Ginger Cookie said, maybe what happened was necessary. Strangely, my belief remains intact despite all the odds against it, but from now on, I'm leaving it all to destiny.

One good thing that came out of this is that I think I've finally learned what it means to let go and to just go with the flow. For now, I'll just wait for the magic to happen in front of me...