Hear No Evil

I can't understand how people can be so judgemental of others based only on what they hear about the other person. I guess this is how gossip can be destructive.

How can you judge someone based only on secondhand information? Why can't most people suspend judgement until they actually get to know the person?

It's not to say I don't like gossip -- especially of the entertainment kind. Sure, I watch Entertainment Tonight and The Insider everyday, and become quite amused with all the scandals that celebrities get themselves into. But when it comes to people I know -- whether they're friends or acquaintances, or even just people I occasionally bump into -- I try to be careful about how I take in the things that I hear about them.

As I've mentioned before, everyone starts with a blank slate with me. No matter what I hear about that person, I don't immediately believe what I hear or take the gossips as truths. For one, others' experiences with that person may not necessarily be the same experience that I'll have with that person. For another, I don't even know the complete details of the circumstances. For all I know, there may have been very good reasons for whatever actions were made. Still another flaw in this is the accuracy of the information recounted to me. Who knows how many times the information has been passed on and how much the information has been altered before it got to me? It may even be possible that it's not only secondhand information, but third or fourth.

And still, my skepticism kicks in. If the things I hear about a person are too derogatory then it's also possible for these stories to just be fabricated -- all the more reason not to pass judgment so quickly.

I don't believe that first impressions last. I don't believe in judging people. But we're only humans and we can't help forming opinions and judgment of others. In this case, I at least give myself time to get to know the person better before forming any conclusions. Sure, this has gotten me into trouble a lot of times -- instances when I should have listened to others. Still, I have no regrets about giving everyone a fair chance to prove themselves. Besides, I believe that you should do unto others what you want others do unto you.