Stubborn or What?

It's funny how we seek answers about things and yet become prejudiced about the answers we get. Why do we seek answers if we can't accept them anyway? If we will still insist on what we believe in anyway? Is it because of our need for confirmation of the things we believe in? Is it because we need assurance that we're on the right path?

My friends know me for my curiosity. For some reason, people whom I meet can tell that about me right away. Maybe it's because I ask too many questions? I can also be "makulit" (persistent, insistent). Some people get annoyed that I ask too much while some -- and I think there are more of this -- find it amusing and are only too happy to indulge me. I guess the latter are mostly the people who like to talk and to answer questions, and I'm only too happy to listen...and to ask some more. It's fascinating how I do absorb a lot of the information I'm told. MindReader just mused (incredulously LOL) about how I remember everything -- maybe it's more of a female quality LOL.

Anyway, I've been doing a lot of asking, listening, and absorbing. But I've sorta been getting somewhat contradictory information, and now the problem is understanding. Understanding which of this information is true or valid. I believe, too, that I've been getting bits and pieces of the answers I seek. While they do make sennse and my head's giving a vigorous nod, there's a voice from my gut feel that's screaming "No!"

Although I've gotten some enlightenment from a friend about the difference between intuitive and logical thinking, I'm still struggling to separate the two. Logic steps in so quickly that I don't even have time to process what my intuition is saying. Logic is able to rationalize it so well, but why is my gut feel still struggling to be heard above the loud reasoning of my logic?

I wonder if I'm just being stubborn to accept the obvious, or if my intuition is somehow justified in not wanting to shut up and stay mum. They say that in time all the puzzle pieces will fall into place, which will lead to an understanding of everything that is being and has been. So then I guess only time will tell. Until then, though, the silent war between my logic and intuition shall continue to rage.

My Past Lives

I was talking to an energy reader, and she was telling me about my past lives (among others, of course). From my understanding, an energy reader is a type of psychic who is able to make predictions based on your aura or by receiving messages from the other side. Someone like John Edward of the show Crossing Over with John Edward.

Well, this was the first time I got any sort of insight into my past lives. MissMetaphor and I have always wondered about our past lives and how we could learn about them. This was the closest I got. Who can ever vouch if these are true or not? Still, I find them interesting, so here goes...

Village Caretaker

Let's name  the reader Mystic. Well, she said that I have a deep-rooted desire to help people in my spirit.

Apparently, I worked in ancient Egypt as a village caretaker. I was a woman shaman who was a healer and caregiver to my tribe. Mystic said I was a true healer then, that's why I now have healing energy in me, and I make everyone feel good when I am around them (How true? LOL).

An Italian Child

It seemed that in the 1300s in Italy, I was the daughter (a little girl) of a pretty well-to-do Italian family. I was pictured walking and being led by a family, with a woman holding my hand. I was wearing soft animal clothing. I was picking flowers along the way when I fell off a cliff.

The reader said this is why I'm not fond of high places, and true enough, I have a fear of heights.

Member of a Greek Temple

Mystic said I was an active  member of a Greek temple in the 1400s. 

Well, I'm not particularly interested in Greek mythology, but I do find it fascinating.

Rockin' with Paramore

I dunno why I'm getting lazy to blog these days, especially when I supposedly have the time since I've just finished a project. Hmm, maybe it's partly because I just wanna keep things to myself or also maybe because I've been yappin' so much with MindReader; I get drained of the energy to yap some more on my blog.

Anyway, I was at the Paramore concert last week. It was great, though Araneta Coliseum would've been a better venue. There were no seats at the MOA (Mall of Asia) Concert Grounds, so everyone was just standing and milling around. That made it hard to get a good view no matter where you positioned yourself. Well, at least they had good monitors or whatever those things are called.

Callalily was their opening act, and though I'd normally like them (one of the few Filipino bands I kinda like), I didn't pay much attention to their performance. They didn't sound good live. Their instruments sounded like fingernails scratching a blackboard, and was that even singing? Kean does sound quite okay on the recorded stuff but really more like shouting when he was supposedly singing live -- kinda tuneless. Oh well, his "cuteness" didn't help at all. Anyway, they didn't get much response from the crowd who was just anxious for Paramore to come on already.

Haley's performance was superb, and though she was kinda screaming a lot, at least she was stil singing. I was just kinda disappointed that they didn't sing Hallelujah and We are Broken and also that Josh Farro wasn't there. Anyway, they did sing a lot of their popular songs, and it made for a great rockin' time.

As an epilogue so-to-speak, I'm just fascinated and qute amazed that even taxi drivers and tricycle drivers knew about Paramore and their songs. Not to be discriminatory or anything, but I just didn't see Paramore as the type of band who would appeal to such a wide range of audience. I pegged them to be a band that would appeal to the angstsy music lovers like myself :P

I was just browsing through my Manifestation Blog yesterday and realized that going to a Paramore concert was one of my "wishes". Well, that's one wish already come true.

Health Conscious

The company I work for is focusing on wellness programs this year. Ever the employee-oriented company, they believe that they'll save more (at least when it comes to HMO costs) by helping their employees stay healthy. Of course, this also helps employees become more productive.


This year, they're putting even more emphasis on staying healthy, espcially since annual physical exams for last year showed obesity as the number one health problem for our company. Because of this, a series of seminars and consultations with Intellicare doctors and Nestle nutritionists were conducted a few weeks ago. The seminars were real eye-openers for me, correcting a lot of the wrong notions I had about food and diet. We also have a month-long access to fitness classes for free.


In addition, they conducted blood tests to get our cholesterool levels and sugar counts. This was part of a contest the company's holding. It's called the Biggest Loser/Biggest Gainer, where employees who've lost (for overweights) or gained (for underweights) the most would win. There are cash prizes and even a trip for two for the winners. Nestle and Intellicare will be back in the middle of the year to check on everyone's progress.


This has introduced a new challenge for me, which is to eat healthy without starving myself. I need to lose only 7 Kgs., which is very doable, and I'm happy and excited to be seeing my progress week after week. I"ve been seeking a new challenge or a new project, and eating healthy makes for a very good project.


I will not diet just to lose weight; rather, my goal is to change my eating habits. So far, so good. I've realized that I don't have to limit myself to boring and tasteless food just to lose weight. I can still pretty much eat whatever I want but in moderation and by choosing healthier alternatives if possible.


I've quickly gotten into the habit of looking at labels and counting calories. I'm challenged to be creative with the food I eat, especially since I easily get tired of always eating the same food.


I just feel so lucky with the company I work for. Not only do they take care of our bank accouts; they also take care of our well-being. As FoodLover says, where else can we find a company that teaches and encourages us to be healthy and even reward us for it?

Weekend Adventures

Just had a long, but fun day yesterday...quite unusual for me on a Saturday. Anyhow, I felt I had a lot of things accomplished.

I was supposed to meet MissEngineer, but as expected (???), we never got to meet at all...LOL. Hmm, nothing new anyway :P

New LCD Monitor

My CRT monitor was about to go out completely. I was so scared and worried the other day coz I couldn't get my monitor to start up when I had some work to do. So before it completely died out on me in the middle of the night or in the midde of some critical work (hate when that happens), I just decided to buy a new one since I was at the mall anyway. I got a 20-inch Samsung LCD. It was quite pricey, but with HSBC's 0% interest promo or something, I decided why not? I'll be watching a lot of movies on my PC, too, so why not get a good-quality monitor? 

Condominium Dilemma

So I've been thinking about selling my Cambridge Village unit to buy another condo unit somewhere nearer Makati. Cypress Towers of DMCI was my prospect, so I went tripping there wth the DMCI agent I met some four years ago. Well, I only felt disappointment at the entire condominium.

For one, I really didn't dig what they call the Neo Asian design. The lines on the walls (whatever they call it) make the place seem claustrophobic for me. The model unit was also very small for its price, and it felt kinda gloomy. I just felt like getting out of there as soon as I could.

The only plus sides were that the unit had a terrace in the master bedroom and that it was nearer The Fort and the Makati CBD. However, I didn't feel at home there and really felt quite uncomfortable. The grounds were also quite unappealing, and they had much fewer amenities than Cambridge Village. It just didn't wow me.

I later went to Cambridge Village to check out the building where my unit was. I was glad to see it was nearing completion, but it still wasn't possible to go inside. I looked at the model unit again, and it instantly brightened my mood. Although I'd seen it before, it still wowed me. It felt more homey (homier? LOL), and I could imagine living there more. It's got more space, too, and the condominium's grounds felt more like somewhere I'd like to just hang out at to get some fresh air or something.

So that's settled. I'd no longer sell my Cambridge Village unit. I'd rather deal with the long commutes twice a day than go home to a cramped place that does nothing to cheer me up. 

Backstreet's Back!

Speaking of getting cheered, I had a perfectly awesome night at the Backstreet Boys concert. Unlike the rock concerts I usually go to where the guitars seem to overpower the singer's vocals, it was good to be at a concert where vocals were the main source of entertainment. Of course, it was also good to watch a group of performers who could sing and dance at the same time. Well, obviously, I have a lot of admiration for these guys.

It was also great fun just screaming and singing along with them. For an hour and a half, I was transported back to the euphoria of the good old days, and all the stress I've been feeling the past few weeks momentarily faded.

The music was great. They had a DJ instead of a full band. But bonuses were that Brian and Howie D. blew me kisses and they, together with AJ, waved at me...so exciting! Brian also gave out some roses to the audience, and during one of the short intermissions, one of the guys from their crew gave me a rose! :)

Admittedly, I would've been more excited about all these 15 years ago...LOL! But I still absolutely enjoyed it and would go see them again and again.

Finally Taking Off!

We recently held the first event for our professional organization after almost two years. Baby steps. Small, but reachable goals. We seem to have found the formula for making things work.


Success is not measured by numbers. In this instance, success is measured by the qualitty of the experience. Overwhelming goals just won't cut it and will only lead to frustrations and eventually to death.. of our will and our spirit...to keep moving forward.


I was just so happy to be around like-minded people who shared my enthusiasm, passion, and ideals -- who believed that small steps were the way to go. I couldn't imagine what we were thinking before -- coming up with such huge plans and huge goals for something that was only starting. On hindsight, it all seems ridiculous now. No wonder it all failed.


With renewed vigor and enthusuasm for our ideals, I can see things only getting better. I'm so happy and grateful for the people I met along the way. This time, I'm staying on this track, and no one can divert me from this direction.


Looking forward to more successes in the future...I know now they're within reach! :)

Ugh!

I had such a tiring week, and I can't understand why despite all my efforts to plan ahead, i still had to scramble in the end. Match that up with being struck by colds and nausea, and that had all the makings of an awful week.

I am a big believer in planning. Knowing what lies ahead helps me better organize the things I do, enabling me to make sure that I allot enough time for each. It seems I've been even busier since the start of this year. I've had to juggle my time among going to the office everyday, working on my freelance gigs when I get home, "leading" (???) a professional organization, spending time with friends and family, and doing errands among others -- oh, and of course, sleeping.

I have a lot of friends -- mostly guys - who say they don't plan ahead, that they take each day as it comes, that they live for the moment. Well, I really can't imagine living this way, and neither can I understand how they manage to live that way.

Sure, it's good to be relaxed and not get all stressed up about everything, but I've also read something that says you should be worried once you feel too comfortable or something like that, and I really believe this. It's when you're too comfortable and too complacent that you're caght off guard, and that can get things really messed up.

I guess it's part of my cynical nature that I make sure I never rest on my laurels. I make sure I'm always aware of the things going on around me in anticipation of possible problems. I never take anything for granted.

The awful thing is that no matter how alert and prepared I try to be, I still can't help falling victim to others' complacency and being the one to suffer for it.

Ugh! If you can't get your act together, can you at least spare me?

Pay It Forward

I learned most of what I know in my work from my mentors -- my managers and some teammates with lead roles. What I appreciate most about my mentors is not really how good they are with their job, but how willing they are to share their knowledge.


I really appreciate it when others help you become a better person by giving you advices and honest feedback. This information is something I take with me even long after the working relationship has ended. It's amazing how even mentors from afar can leave their mark in my being through the knowledge and wisdom they've imparted with me.


One such mentor has been coming to mind lately. She used to give me a lot of tips on how to handle certain situations and how to improve the way I do my work. She constantly gave me the same advvices and reminders throughout the years that I've known her that I didn't realize they have become a part of me.


I used to take the things she told me for granted just because there really wasn't any opportunity to use or apply them. I didn't realize, however, that I've been putting those advices to good use recently.  I just realized it when I started hearing myself talking like her whenever I share the same tips and advices with others. The amazing thing is that I don't even have to struggle to remember these things. I just do them naturally (probably because of hearing it so much for so long?), and I find that following these advices makes me feel empowered and confident.


I recently thanked her for all of the things she imparted with me, and her advice this time was to pay it forward, to also share with others what I have learned. Another awesome advice, and one that I totally agree with. I am totally in favor  sharing what I know with others. You sort of replicate yourself this way as opposed  keeping what you know to yourself for the fear that you might become dispensable. The latter, I think, is selfish and does not promote any growth.


A good leader, I think, is not one who has all the know-how because these thngs can be learned from books, and not one who just helps you in the moment by addressing a particular concern. I think that a good leader is one who can help you become a better person above and beyond what your job calls for and who truly cares about your development as a person and provides you with the guidance you need.

Sleep Pattern

Recent studies show that the human body doesn't really need eight hours of sleep to feel rested and re-invogarated. They say that all that talk about having at least eight hours of sleep is mostly just media hype.
They say that people need different amounts of sleep but that  most get by on six hours of sleep. One constant advise they give is to go to bed and wake up at the same time everyday.


This week, I have been consistently (but unintentionally) going to bed at around midnight and waking up at around 5AM. Surprisingly, I feel rested -- more rested than getting 6 to 8 hours of sleep where I sleep and wake up at random times. The latter actually made me feel more sluggish. Another thing is that I no longer wish for coffee first thing in the morning.


This is not to say that I'd no longer sleep in during the weekend (LOL!), but I guess it does help to maintain a consistent sleep pattern during the work week, especially when I have tons of things to do and only so much time left for sleeping.

Up Again

It;'s amazing how I'm on the roller coaster ride again. I thought it has come to a stop, but it seems I'm at the roller coaster's peak again.

It's crazy how things get broken down then quickly rebuilt. As Miss C and Miss Battery said, this must be how things are meant to be...our destiny.