Well, I was having a conversation with a friend recently, and he seemed really smart .. we were just exchanging thoughts on things, so I asked him that question.... Why do guys always say they're afraid of hurting a girl's feelings, or what do guys mean by that? I was thinking, maybe it's just an easy way out for guys. Well, I asked my friend this question to challenge him 'cause he seemed really smart and seemed to have the answers to my other psychology-related questions. Hmm, he did say he was a teacher before, but I can't remember what he taught.
Anyway, his answer to my question was cognitive dissonance. He explained it briefly, but I still didn't understand, so I read up on it. Well, cognitive dissonance is the discomfort that one feels when there are two contradicting thoughts in his or her mind, and it is usually caused by a deepening closeness or involvement with someone and worsened by how much the thoughts conflict and by the inability of the person to rationalize these conflicting thoughts.
It can be manifested, for example, by people who say or would like to think they're good, yet do things to the contrary. Hmm, an example would probably be a guy who tells a girl that he loves her, yet still gets tempted by other girls.
Apparently, however, cognitive dissonance doesn't apply only to relationships but also to things such as decision-making or even just our own self-image or self-respect.
Well, it is very true that the truth sets you free and that honesty is the best policy. If you just become true to yourself and avoid things such as lies and hypocrisy then you would never have to suffer from dissonance. It would also help to prevent confusion and indeed, hurting others. With all the problems and stress that we already have to deal with, I think that dissonance is one self-inflicted conflict that we can definitely do without.
Sources:
- http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/cognitive_dissonance.htm
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
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